Why the F**k won’t you build?

To the tune of Go the Fuck to Sleep

The lofi hip hop plays gently,
The drink I’m nursing is chilled.
My pull request has a funny gif in it,
So why the fuck won’t you build?

My latest abstraction sits neatly in layers,
Though my teammates are less than thrilled.
But I saw it in some blog post, so they’re wrong,
Help me out with a build.

Lint warnings I glaze over easily,
Code coverage I’ve lowered and killed.
How come you can run all this other great shit,
But you can’t fucking build?

The errors appear in a soft crimson,
Thinking I’m even remotely skilled.
I’ve just copied what’s on StackOverflow
So please quit fucking with me and build!

The alerting system starts beeping,
Telling me the hard drive is filled.
Hey, I know this one, run rm -rf /
There. Enough. Now build.

The build agent has gone silent,
A fear in me has been instilled.
Oh dear Jesus what have I done,
All you had to do was build!

Dejected and red-eyed I sit here,
Now my drink I have accidentally spilled,
The AWS free tier nears its limits,
I… think I’m about to get billed.

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